Wow...Its been a while, huh...a two month brief synopsis of my life:
Knee pain that continued with PT for now and a follow up on Nov. 3rd; sentenced to managerial office work to stay employed-working nearly 7 days a week in the meantime (not my usual 2 day a week 24 hours at a time); Sept. school started for the youngsters with a new school routine, homework, swim team and gymnastics; emotional eating and getting fat; school concerns for our youngest and testing in Boston to make sure it's just his apraxia; and starting in November a brand new work schedule. UGH. Up until now it has been PT and limited working out. Combining that with emotional overeating is guaranteed not a great combination.
And oh, yeah--after coming back from Boston, my car got broken into (side window smashed) and the GPS was stolen---and I talked to the son of a bitch right before he stole it!
BUT great news today--I started back to my "normal" work routine, hence me getting back to blogging life and hopefully working out. As I started surfing my bloggy friends who I have left behind, I found this from Chasing Iron's blog and is EXACTLY what I needed, EXACTLY:
When bobbing around the water, waiting for the world to turn, with the music blaring and the crowds gathering and the mass of swim caps all around - we are each of us a tiny universe. With a story, a purpose. We each of us have somebody up there who's breath won't return until they see us safely out of the water. We each answer to something other than ourselves in answering why we are here.
It is never a simple thing. And when you toe that line, in the instant before you step into the water to Take Your Mark, you are their ambassador.
You represent everybody who believed, or doubted. Who showed up because of, or in spite of. You cross for everybody who hasn't crossed yet, who will one day, and who never would. And you can either pull that weight, or let it pull you.
Because if you know not suffering, or anger, or defeat; if you've never felt like you are more than who you are; if you've never asked yourself what you are truly made of - what absolutes live inside you, and resolved to discover what...well then, of course you'd never be interested in the first place.
It is a thing we all have in common out there - a determination, a requirement, to be Who We Are Instead.
Yes, it is. It is that big of a deal. It is that hard. It really is. That's sort of the point. The rest are just details. The rest figures itself out. There's never a "good time". It's never going to ideally suit your universe.
You'll never think to yourself, "Geez, you know what I'm in the mood for? Madness."
It will always be hard, you will always have to work to find the balance, it will never make sense to everybody, often not even yourself.
And that, too, is part of the journey, and part of the forging. If you have to talk yourself into it, then wait until your time comes. Until you're drawn in. Until the current takes you. But if you're just making excuses...well then. Life is short. Get in already."
It was a most beautiful day to spend with the family. We hiked a 3 mile loop up Monument Mountain in the Berkshires and explored caves and stood on top of mountains and galloped over and under and on the fallen trees that acted as natural balance beams. It took a little bit--and a few remarks of "they made it through the whole thing"--you betcha. The privilege of hiking with kids is taking it slow and easy and stopping for every nook and cranny along the way. Its not a workout mind you--but its the journey, like everything nowadays. Everything.
