Kodiacbear's Journey to Ironman

Moved To..

2011-10-28T10:39:00.003-04:00

Moved to Wordpress: www.liferediscovered.me

I Am An Ironman!

2009-08-04T13:33:00.002-04:00

Yup, it finally happened and I did it! Really quick: most amazing day ever and I finished together with my husband hand in hand--although Totally Not Planned that Way!!

More in a bit when I can get my head on straight

angie

I said what??

2009-06-18T06:57:00.002-04:00

I remember, a very long time ago when I said no more excuses 'bout posting? Well, I lied.

Training has been long and hard, Mooseman Half Iron came and went and was absolutely amazing, and kids got out of school 2 weeks ago, and I am still working. Time to write has been periodic at best but I do keep up on the Google Reader. And of course Facebook.

Tri-ing to do better but this is it for now...

Peace Out
angie

Pass me the Banana and Cliff Bars Please..

2009-05-02T20:12:00.003-04:00

My swimming has been slacking anyway, so what better time to start hitting it head on...since biking and swimming are the only two things I can do right now until my foot heals up (and it is completely pain free on the bike, albeit inside--yipee!)

Oh, Yes, and the water running. Cannot forget that (as much as I would like too). Way Crazy BORING!!

Although I could not run this week I still managed to get a solid 12 hours of training in by biking and swimming and strength training including a most aweful 4 hour bike ride. But I learned many, many things on this ride:

I Need Real Food on the bike--gels and liquid meals (like Perpetuem) do not cut it;
Bananas and Cliff bars make me happy--(a calculated 280 cal. an hour while riding)
I still need 24oz. of water an hour--(sweat rate calculated out after the ride)
I need 2-3 Endurolytes an hour (electrolyte replacements)
Our CO canisters and refills do not match
I can survive a Mentally tough workout and
I can keep my head in the game no Matter How Much I Wanted to QUIT!!

I may be able to swim and bike but limping around has put a damper on my regular paycheck work. I am out of work for the time being but since I only work 2 days a week, I have a lot of time off anyway (when the boys are not on vacation). When I am working, I do love my job. I am a Paramedic in the city and work 48 hours a week in 2 days and have 5 days off. I schedule around my husband's schedule (who also works 24 hour shifts) so one of us is always home with our boys after school, and it cuts down on the daycare or babysitting. I am hoping to return later this week.

Well that's it for now

Peace

Check This Out!

2009-04-28T18:40:00.005-04:00

Feeling tons better...hitting the pool and bike like there's no tomorrow...laying low with the running. This is not the end of me!

Catching up on blogs and have to admit-its addicting. Check This Out ~Race Season is upon us~

Peace
angie

Watching Red Sox Kick Yankee Ass..

2009-04-26T17:39:00.009-04:00

A little misstep perhaps...a tired ITB...a change in stride...AWW my foot...OuchOuchOuch...PainPainPain....

R.I.C.E. Yeah-got that. Not Better.
a little concerning--swelling, redness and pain..

ER visit yesterday with X-Rays and CTscan--No stress fracture--Yipee!

Crutches for a couple but it will be okay. It. Will. Be. OK.

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

Went through them and getting on with it.

What I can do:
Ice
Elevate
Watch Red Sox kick Yankee Ass
Drink Wine
Bike
Swim
Drink Wine

What I Cannot Do:
Work
Poop Patrol
Rake
Yard Work
Grocery Shop

Looking at it this way, I guess its a win-win
Always a bright side...

Peace out
Bear

Professional Sky Diver?? Is there such a thing...

2009-04-24T06:44:00.001-04:00

School Vacation--It kinda snuck up on me this year...

My oldest son went on a trip with his grandparents to Washington D.C. He didn't get stolen and We all survived. Mainly, I survived. I kept busy. Crazy busy. Besides the longer workouts in a build week along with managerial office work (my boss took a vacation so I filled in), giving our youngest son the alone time he needs with us, it kept my mind preoccupied. It's a good thing. Both kids had a blast this vacation. Actually--we all had a really good time and quality time well spent.

We took Ian to a simulated sky diving school: SkyVenture on Monday. He Had a Blast! He now would like to be a professional skydiver. I still need to upload the pictures so check out the picture gallery on their website: he's the one in yellow, the little guy on mondays 4-20-09 class, the 4:30pm time slot.

Mr Kodiacbear and I snuck in a 50 mile bike early in the week with the help of a new, most wonderful babysitter who played with Ian while we were gone. Then I went to work and they played some more.

Family reunited mid week and got to take in all the nice weather

[older picture as I did not get to go on the hike this week]

Little Life Happenings.

Peace

Kodiacbear

Moving Up in the World of Technology!

2009-04-24T05:21:00.000-04:00

Ok. Let's try this mobile blogging. Here is the big test. SWEET!! Now No Excuses and month long hiatus.

You Own It

2009-03-24T16:17:00.004-04:00

After our 10k road race, we headed out and watched our 10 year old niece in an ice skating show. It was her first solo performance and they all had worked really, really hard for it. I sat there in amazement, watched as little boys and girls got out on the ice--some by themselves, others in groups and wondered if I would have the guts to do that. You put yourself out there. It's out on the ice, in front of EVERYONE--you are on your own--and each step, you own it.

But I guess the Ironman is that....except you're surrounded by 2700 people. It's your day, it's your race and your reasons.

No one else that can get you up when you fall (and you will fall). There is the sideline encouragements and excitement and worry but it's you, all you. You Own It.

You own your training: your easy days, your Hard Days, your days when you just want to sleep in and not really do anything. You are the one who is out there (or Not) and reaps the benefits: better health, sleeker build, placement in age group, traveling a mental journey that you may not have known or understood, etc.

Now these benefits, I think, are different for everyone. Some are going for a PR or top 5 or a placement to qualify for a bigger event (even in skating). Some, like myself are going to finish with a smile on my face. Some are just performing to perform (like theatre) because its what they love to do. For everyone, the journey is a different one. That step on the ice means something. Just toeing the line--means something and whatever happens on race day happens and whats in between it--the everday journey just makes you stronger.

I got my training plan for next month and its kicked up a notch. My palms got sweaty when I saw it. Longer rides outside, nutrition plan in check, longer runs and longer swims--higher intensity. One day at a time.

I am Ready.

My journey this year is for The Care Center--giving girls a second chance to make a better life for their families and I can't wait!

Peace
kodiacbear

First 10K Road Race--Done!

2009-03-23T16:17:00.009-04:00

St. Patty's Day 10k road race : 3,500 runners through the uphill streets of Holyoke.

And since this was my first 10k ever I had no PR to compete with and just had a great time...

Just in time....

The morning started a little hairy--needed to head to the race site to pick up the race numbers and then to the mall to get a belated birthday present for my sister in law (and it's not like I did not remember--I just HATE buying stuff just to buy it--seriously now)

Ran around the mall without a plan--Bad Idea--Very Bad when short on time and trying to get to a race..

Ended up a with a Pandora bracelet for her and now a gift for many more occasions to come:

It starts as a bracelet and have more than 300 different beads to choose from--mix and match or buy sets, take off, add on, it's all good and a great idea for moms.

Okay, back to race report:

Crazy mall shopping spree (dressed in running apparel mind you)-fly back home, meet in-laws who take the boys, pick up husband and off to the race--forgot to eat--wolf down banana and gel and water. Leave with 40 minutes to race time--forgot Garmin--turn around and go get it--35 minutes to go...

Head into the city and try to find parking along with the 3500 other racers that are already lined up--find one about 1 mile away from starting line...all the while getting dressed in car with numbers, Garmin, and timing chip.

Turn our jog to start line as warm up--7 minutes to start and we are almost there..Scramble our way to back of line, find a good friend named Carole, and GO--no porta pottie break and holding empty water bottle the entire way!

What an awesome sight! Since this is such a hilly course, we got to see the mass of people heading up the hill, so very cool--I cannot believe I have never done anything like this before (except for the Ironman last year--but thats sooo different). It was a blast. There were water stops along with beer stops. Spectators decked out in green.

Official time: 1:04:22 for the 10k and Garmin time 1:00:14 for 6.14. I needed to go by the Garmin since this was a mass start and was pretty happy with end result. I kept Zone 3 Hr until the last 2.2 miles and raced the end. Felt great and not sore at all. Worried a little about that but according to Coach all is well with HR and pace. I must be coming along. Slowly but surely.

Wow--there is something to this running thing.

I may just do some more of it.

Oh Yeah:

half way throught the course the finishers are doing the course in reverse and meet us half way to cheer us on!!

Happy Day everyone!
angie

the beginning...

2009-03-14T09:05:00.002-04:00

In the Beginning--was a lot of failure....

A. Lot. Of. Failure but all good...all good...

First and foremost I needed a coach and a bike. Yup--I only owned a mountain bike and that I had not been on in about..UMM..lets say.Years.

I found a coach, Martha Grinnell, local and really cool. We talked and agreed on a plan starting in October 2007 to take me through to July 2008, broken down to 8-10 week increments.

But I still needed a bike. I have a really nice mountain bike but I don't think that would cut it. I began my search in July, right around the time I entered. After weeks of research and riding, I found one and bought it in Sept. 2007 (only 10 month 'til the Ironman). The last time I rode a road bike was a ten speed about 20 years ago. Man, things have changed!

In the meantime, I began swimming and running--yes, BEGAN running--I hate running therefore I need to work on it. I started out with the kids 2.4 mile trail run weekly with my 7 year old that June and much to his pleasure, I had to walk 4 time with 3 shortcuts to catch up with him. I realized I really need to work on this. I started slow, running about 1-2 miles every couple of days, really easy and it got better, much better--I don't hate it anymore.

All this with the Ironman in mind....2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and a 26.2 mile run in one day...

Swimming I did for fun about 2o minutes 2 x week at a local fitness club. I didn't hate it but definately needed to get better at it--so I read a book and tried to learn from it and then met with Martha and it got better.

I got my bike the beginning of Sept.2007--and it didn't come with pedals--most of my friends think that was pretty funny. The more expensive the bike the less it comes with--like learning how to clip out of those damn pedals before you stop and fall over in traffic, assuring everyone passing by calling out to see if your okay--that you are okay. Then explaining to your kids that Mommy falls off her bike too and can proudly show off your bruises. Then the practice comes--clip in/clip out/ clip in /clip out for the next 1 mile or so. I need to get out there and ride, again and again....

So I fell off it--again and again and BUT GOT UP... Again...and Again.

Peace!

For those of you who don't know..

2009-03-12T09:01:00.000-04:00

I feel like I have started a new book--not just a new chapter in my wonderful life. So here is a recap for those of you who don't know how all this started about a year and a half ago....

I have been questioned how did you get into this? What started it?

It started about May 2007 with a tiny voice in my head...

First of all, I would like to put a few things out there: I LOVE MY LIFE--and truthfully, I could not be any happier. I have been blessed with a beautiful family, including the dog,cats, and hermit crabs. I have a wonderful husband and kids and a profession that I would not trade for anything.

But, and here is the BUT--there are a couple of things that I have wanted to accomplish in my lifetime aside from all of the above. One was to finally finish my B.A.--and it doesn't matter that it won't make me any more money, I love learning, and in order to take any graduate courses, you need to have it. Secondly, I want to be really healthy and in great shape.

Sooo, nearing the end of school in early spring of 2007, knowing that both my children will be in school full time in the fall of 2007, knowing I will have more 'free' time because I will have graduated in May, and undecided for which graduate program to apply to, the idea of a triathlon festered.

There were local sprint triathlons around and I worked out, but being in school full time and working full time and having one child at half day preschool and one in all day school and driving to speech therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy for him, I didn't work out nearly enough to stay centered nor compete at any level, yet. And here is that word--YET

So I looked around and began planning. I came up with this crazy idea of doing the big one--the full boat 140.6 mile IRONMAN and talked with my hubbie and hired a coach. I registered for the 2008 Lake Placid Ironman.

Now for those of you that know it, that itself was challenging enough considering it sold out in minutes--but thats another story..So, on the following pages you will find my journey...

So the idea began about may June 2007 and has gotten me here today with unfinished business in Lake Placid and now paying it forward for someone else....

PeaceKodiac

Something for Others...

2009-03-11T10:19:00.006-04:00

This year my Journey to the Ironman Lake Placid will be to raise funds and support a local cause: The CARE Center (Community for Adolescent Resource and Education), Holyoke MA through the Janus Charity Challenge.

Each of us throughout our lives encounter challenges, varied as they may be. I am at a point right now that I am fortunate enough to take on the challenge of the Ironman triathlon as a fund raiser. Last year a knee injury prevented a finish--but I am back this year and at it again, this time with increased awareness, support and resources!

The Care Center (Community for Adolescent Resource and Education) Center was founded to address the issues of one of the highest drop out rates and lowest literacy rates in the state of Massachusetts. It was established for pregnant and parenting teens to get their GED and has grown over the last 20 years.

Today, the Center has high expectations of every student who comes though its doors. At The Care Center, it is expected that all students have intellectual hunger and capacity. Not only can these young women succeed, they must -- for themselves, their children, their community, and the health of the nation.

The Care Center offers a curriculum including the humanities and athletics in addition to math, science, history, and literature.

It provides the resources and support that a young mother would need to accomplish this: transportation, child care, health care, and the educational tools on their campus. Support to local area colleges along with daycare are also provided once the GED is passed.

The Care Center takes a situation, and instead of posting blame or pointing fingers or admonishing actions, says let's see what we can do to help them to provide for themselves and their family. It's an amazing program

Peace
Kodiacbear

It was said it before...and now again

2009-02-28T08:43:00.004-05:00

Presently I feel like I am starting over--at least for blogging purposes that is--starting a new chapter...and as I reread the past year and a half I am utterly amazed at the blessings that I have been given for the priveledge (yes, it is a priveledge to be able to do this) to train: first and foremost the love and support of my wonderful family-Bob, the kids, my in-laws and friends, my coach, the money (thankful for the ability to be able to earn the money) and time and the energy to follow this path that I am Right Now.

So I found this-and I want to reprint it and give thanks once again.

I found this from, EXACTLY:

When bobbing around the water, waiting for the world to turn, with the music blaring and the crowds gathering and the mass of swim caps all around - we are each of us a tiny universe. With a story, a purpose. We each of us have somebody up there who's breath won't return until they see us safely out of the water. We each answer to something other than ourselves in answering why we are here.

It is never a simple thing. And when you toe that line, in the instant before you step into the water to Take Your Mark, you are their ambassador.

You represent everybody who believed, or doubted. Who showed up because of, or in spite of. You cross for everybody who hasn't crossed yet, who will one day, and who never would. And you can either pull that weight, or let it pull you.

Because if you know not suffering, or anger, or defeat; if you've never felt like you are more than who you are; if you've never asked yourself what you are truly made of - what absolutes live inside you, and resolved to discover what...well then, of course you'd never be interested in the first place.

It is a thing we all have in common out there - a determination, a requirement, to be Who We Are Instead.

Yes, it is. It is that big of a deal. It is that hard. It really is. That's sort of the point. The rest are just details. The rest figures itself out. There's never a "good time". It's never going to ideally suit your universe.

You'll never think to yourself, "Geez, you know what I'm in the mood for? Madness."

It will always be hard, you will always have to work to find the balance, it will never make sense to everybody, often not even yourself.

And that, too, is part of the journey, and part of the forging. If you have to talk yourself into it, then wait until your time comes. Until you're drawn in. Until the current takes you. But if you're just making excuses...well then. Life is short. Get in already."

Up and Coming Races and such...

2009-02-27T10:12:00.005-05:00

Truly I would have Never, Ever:

a) thought of myself as an athlete [it cracks me up everytime my coach says it]

and

b) that I would ever be doing Triathlon as a sport

Now don't get me wrong--I have been active since I was 4yrs old: ballet, swim, gymnastics, basketball, and fast pitch softball (my first and true love) with year 'round playing for both as I got older. And I used running/swimming/biking as a way to get in shape for these sports. But never did I ever see any of these as a team "sport", or even as a "sport" itself for that matter with a coach.

Heck, my senior year in High School Softball we had a DISGRACEFUL coach who had absolutely no business coaching. We were a first place team for the 3 previous years and as a whole, our team was as close knit as they came. Our brand new coach [my catholic high school fired our awesome multi-year championship winning lesbian softball coach back in the 1980's--who was rehired the next year after the lawsuit] recruited members of the track team to be used as "pinch runners" in games when our team members got on base. Little did they know how to slide or the basic rules of the game, like stealing. What the hell. To top it off--come middle of season--"I get paid wether we win or lose"--hey-think thoughts like that but don't speak it--WTF!!

Coaching--and what makes a good one...a post for another day...

All right back to the Team sports thinking...
Who waoulda thought..running, triathlon, swimming, etc..

As the decades slowly take their tole...and my time on earth is ever expanding...my attitudes have changed...

So what started out as a journey to see what I could have done in 10 months has continued onward and become a part of me, a way of life nowadays...

So My Schedule for the Year:

March 21st St. Patricks Day Road Race 10k

June 7th Mooseman Half IM

July 26th Ironman Lake Placid

Other sprints in August and Sept. TBA

Peace
Kodiacbear

The Drive to Tri..again

2009-02-09T07:45:00.009-05:00

The last few months I have been in hiding. I had lost my motivation and drive to "tri"...I had been sick and tired an injured ...blah..blah

But I am Back with more drive than ever before....

I have put my head on again and planned out my schedule for the year and am psyched for it. I have found my new sport and have taken it to new level...

Let me explain...

Last year's Jounrey to Ironman Lake Placid was just that--a most wonderful and spirit filled journey that was INCREDIBLE, and although I may not have crossed the finish line, the experience itself was beyond words.

What had started out back then as a desire to see what I could do in the span of 10 months (Oct. 2007-July 2008) with a coach and the right tools (like buying a bike only a month before)..it was a journey to see how far I could possibly take this and to toe the starting line of IRONMAN LAKE PLACID 2008 was beyond words. I am so blessed to have had that journey.

Today on the other hand starts a new journey--this path that I am Right Now...and it has had some ups and downs, but it's good. Very Good. Soon I will post my planned season and catch you up with my friends and sister who started out on her own journey to the san diego half marathon for team in training.

So--I am back...for a little bit at least...on this JOURNEY TO IRONMAN LAKE PLACID 2009 and all its trials and tribulations and pleasures in between...

Peace
Kodiacbear

A little Sunday Humor...

2008-12-14T09:07:00.006-05:00

A little Sunday morning humor in an email that has been passed around--if anyone knows the author please advise:
A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (Ford Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had eight people rowing and one person steering, while the American team had seven people steering and two people rowing.
Feeling a deeper study was in order; American management hired a consulting company and
paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to four steering supervisors, two area steering superintendents and one assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the two people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rowers.
There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to 'equal the competition' and some of the resultant savings were channelled into morale boosting programs and teamwork posters. The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid-off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and cancelled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses. The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year's
racing team was out-sourced to India. Sadly, the End.
Here is something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US, claiming they cannot make money paying American wages. TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US. The last quarter's results: TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses. Ford folks are still scratching their heads, and collecting bonuses

life's musings...

2008-12-05T13:26:00.002-05:00

I simply cannot wrap my tiny head around it.

I just found out yesterday that a friend of mine killed herself about 2 weeks ago--Nov. 19th to be exact.

Now she was the type of friend where we could go months without talking and catch up and be back in the swing of things in a heartbeat. She was a firecracker...smart as a whip...and apparently untreated type 1 bipolar. And a mom to a beautiful 8 year old girl.

I simply cannot wrap my head around it.

Peace
kodiacbear

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T07:01:00.002-05:00

As I walk around my kitchen on this quiet morning, I feel the heater turn on and a blast of warm air at my feet, looking outside as the sun is just coming up beyond the trees, I realize how grateful and lucky I am for all that I have.

I sit with my coffee and type away with only moments to go before I am off to work on this holiday, there is a special feeling in the air, a chill, an anticipation if you will.

People we meet and greet around the holiday season make the small talk of what we are doing and chances are, either my husband or I are working. Today I work and on Christmas my husband will work. It's just how it goes. Every 6th year we have it off together. And that is just one of the holidays. Next year it will be Christmas--we will have 5 full days off together-and it just may mean we head down south where my brother and sister live. We will have the 23rd-27th completely off together--so Wendy, get ready!

Have a Thankful and Happy Turkey Day Everyone--and stay safe!

Peace
Kodiacbear

2008-11-23T10:29:00.005-05:00

Just when you think your having a bad day....

http://thinkbeta.com/blog/2007/12/26/navy-seals-hospital-room-door/

something to think about

Peace
Kodiac

Found It...

2008-11-08T20:49:00.003-05:00

...now just waiting...and wondering....maybe she doesn't want me back in--maybe there is a reason...what could it be?...what did I do?...I know its her job she was worried about...but what if its me??

And then the other half of my brain starts with--No, Ang, the world does not revolve around you, although it should...It's not personal, you're really not that important...

And then---Why should I care about this?

OH, But I Do Care....

Ang

Saddened

2008-11-08T20:30:00.006-05:00

I am saddened...One of the blogs that I thoroughly enjoy and have followed for about a year now has blocked access...and I cannot remember the email to request access--so if anyone can let me know-I am willing to put a limb out there and request it once I can get the email: Meg, let me back in please!!

kodiac

Ramblings...

2008-11-08T17:35:00.004-05:00

Between "the Vote" and training and a new schedule at work it leaves little time for Blogging. But such it is...

Snapfish--just found it...Love It!!

Getting in a workout everyday in one way or another...and it is SOOO nice...

Got a new bike--selling my Ruby...sad but excited..pictures on Wednesday when I pick up the new one.

Had a Awesome Bike Fit (therefore: the new bike) with Fitwerx...Highly Recommend it to anyone willing to listen.....

All for now..
Kodiacbear

Hiking it is!

2008-10-28T16:30:00.005-04:00

It was a most beautiful day to spend with the family. We hiked a 3 mile loop up Monument Mountain in the Berkshires and explored caves and stood on top of mountains and galloped over and under and on the fallen trees that acted as natural balance beams. It took a little bit--and a few remarks of "they made it through the whole thing"--you betcha. The privilege of hiking with kids is taking it slow and easy and stopping for every nook and cranny along the way. Its not a workout mind you--but its the journey, like everything nowadays. Everything.

Here are the boys and the dog under a rock cave (they would not go into it without the dog)

Another shelter along the way:

Peace

Kodiacbear

Blast Off...

2008-10-22T13:11:00.010-04:00

I am back to training..again and let me tell you...it is WONDERFUL! I am still in PT for 2 days a week and knee, hips and back are holding their own. Today is day 3 of working out and I took a kick ass spin class. Thanks Kurt! HR WAY out of Zone 1..more like Zone 4-5a at times (Topping Out at 183 where I thought I may just throw up). It was great. And now the Foam Roller is my new BFF...

*I am in the midst of a new schedule change at work. I need to work 3 days a week starting in November :(

*It will be monday, tues and thursday. It sucks adding another day and trying to work it around training and the boys school activities are a bit challenging but very doable...and...its the first schedule change in 5 years, so I really can't complain too much. I already am planning on making this spin class a part of my new routine.

*Mommy is much, much more sane when she gets to work out and sleep. Much more.

*Update on our second one's neuropsych testing when we come back.

*For now, showering and heading out for a 2 hour drive to get the results...and an overdue dinner date with my sexy husband.

Thank God I am back.

peace,

kodiac

I AM BACK!!

2008-10-19T15:13:00.012-04:00

Wow...Its been a while, huh...a two month brief synopsis of my life:
Knee pain that continued with PT for now and a follow up on Nov. 3rd; sentenced to managerial office work to stay employed-working nearly 7 days a week in the meantime (not my usual 2 day a week 24 hours at a time); Sept. school started for the youngsters with a new school routine, homework, swim team and gymnastics; emotional eating and getting fat; school concerns for our youngest and testing in Boston to make sure it's just his apraxia; and starting in November a brand new work schedule. UGH. Up until now it has been PT and limited working out. Combining that with emotional overeating is guaranteed not a great combination.
And oh, yeah--after coming back from Boston, my car got broken into (side window smashed) and the GPS was stolen---and I talked to the son of a bitch right before he stole it!
BUT great news today--I started back to my "normal" work routine, hence me getting back to blogging life and hopefully working out. As I started surfing my bloggy friends who I have left behind, I found this from Chasing Iron's blog and is EXACTLY what I needed, EXACTLY:

When bobbing around the water, waiting for the world to turn, with the music blaring and the crowds gathering and the mass of swim caps all around - we are each of us a tiny universe. With a story, a purpose. We each of us have somebody up there who's breath won't return until they see us safely out of the water. We each answer to something other than ourselves in answering why we are here.
It is never a simple thing. And when you toe that line, in the instant before you step into the water to Take Your Mark, you are their ambassador.
You represent everybody who believed, or doubted. Who showed up because of, or in spite of. You cross for everybody who hasn't crossed yet, who will one day, and who never would. And you can either pull that weight, or let it pull you.
Because if you know not suffering, or anger, or defeat; if you've never felt like you are more than who you are; if you've never asked yourself what you are truly made of - what absolutes live inside you, and resolved to discover what...well then, of course you'd never be interested in the first place.
It is a thing we all have in common out there - a determination, a requirement, to be Who We Are Instead.
Yes, it is. It is that big of a deal. It is that hard. It really is. That's sort of the point. The rest are just details. The rest figures itself out. There's never a "good time". It's never going to ideally suit your universe.
You'll never think to yourself, "Geez, you know what I'm in the mood for? Madness."
It will always be hard, you will always have to work to find the balance, it will never make sense to everybody, often not even yourself.
And that, too, is part of the journey, and part of the forging. If you have to talk yourself into it, then wait until your time comes. Until you're drawn in. Until the current takes you. But if you're just making excuses...well then. Life is short. Get in already."

Here I am...and finally listening...again....

Peace,
Kodiac

Two More Incredible Things

2008-08-13T06:59:00.002-04:00

LOVE THIS POST! Check it out! Siren, You Rock On Girl!!

and another thing--My good friend Lisa is an incredible writer and just started a blog with my advice (thank you very much)...Check it out here and read from the bottom up 'cause she just started. Love it.

Carry On
Kodiacbear

Back to work...

2008-08-13T06:43:00.002-04:00

I am back in full swing at work. This week's been busy. We are gearing up my husband for his first Ironman-we both registered for Lake Placid next year--he goes for a bike fitting on Sunday. We have one more trip to Cape Cod scheduled for August--our family with MIL and Pappy and SIL with her husband and daughter. It's a yearly thing we have been doing since we got married. Its a great time and nice little getaway right before school starts.

Thats it for now.
Peace
Kodiacbear

Okay--for the second half of tuesdays post...

2008-08-08T16:36:00.001-04:00

Now I am suppose to tag 6 other people--If your reading this, your tagged!!

Peace
Kodiacbear

Now that I have some time...

2008-08-05T06:37:00.007-04:00

Way back when--I don't even remember--Leah tagged me: I am supposed to list six random things about myself, so here it goes:

1. I color my hair

2. I am fully aware that "Kodiacbear" is spelled wrong (Kodiak bear, yah, I know. I got it). It's a long story. I like it this way. Its much simpler.

3. My first athletic love was, and has always been, fast pitch softball. I started when I was 8 years old--and played into college. Now, it just doesn't fit and my rotator cuff hurts too much :(

4. I have tried to quit coffee multiple times-and I just can't do it. Nope--it won't happen--yeah, I take it with light cream and extra sugar in it, too.

5. My parents died 11 yrs ago and I have 1 older sister and 1 older brother. I don't see them nearly enough--sometimes for years at a time--so now when I do, it's a big deal.

6. I crack my kid's toes. It's something my sister always did to me. Now I get to pass it on. Thanks, Con, I love you.

So there it is. Have at it.

peace
Kodiacbear

I Love This One...

2008-08-03T13:08:00.003-04:00

Many thanks to Lisa Totz for taking this picture on the run!!

Lake Placid Photos

2008-08-03T12:45:00.008-04:00

Oh this day was sooo sooo wonderful--Here's the pictures:

Angie (me) and Carol at transition drop off

Swim Start: I am near the trees (on the opposite side of shore--so I really went 2.6 miles not 2.4)

Body Marking at 5:00am

Bike Transition Area

More of the swim

What a day!

angie

Birthday Boy Has a Blast...

2008-08-02T21:46:00.000-04:00

He turned Nine Years Old today...and it was a success. He planned a carnival type birthday--an idea he got from the National Geographic Kids magazine, he made the target for the pie throwing contest, a giant tick-tack toe game, an airplane contest and a new version of musical chairs with pictures. Then we had a GIANT slip and slide that was Loads of Fun!

After the fact:

Having Fun Eating it too:

Devilish Grin:

AND THE GIANT SLIP AND SLIDE:

It was a great day and now that I know how to post pictures more from Lake Placid will go up!!

Peace

Kodiacbear

Sad News...

2008-07-29T07:12:00.002-04:00

I first heard about Randy Pausch on the Oprah show--it was a fluke, me at home on the computer, watching a PIP, the Oprah show. There he was giving his speech: The Last Lecture (which is a book now) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo It's long but well worth it. He died on July 25th, leaving his wife and three young children under the age of 10yrs. He did live his life everyday. He loved and laughed.

"Shoot for the moon...

2008-07-26T20:46:00.010-04:00

and if you miss, you will still be among the stars" (Les Brown quote)

Let me tell you, aside from my marriage and the birth of my kids, this was the best day of MY ENTIRE LIFE!!

Honestly, I shot for the moon, and boy, did I land among the stars. I made it to mile 11 on the run and pulled out with a knee injury.

Sincerely, I have no regrets for this whole year, nope, not one. I must've smiled through the whole thing and even when I knew it was the end, shed my tears, but still had taken in the whole day. Truthfully, I think there was a brief moment on the run--the first 2 miles or so, after you see everyone in the entire world supporting you, and I stopped and gave hugs and high fives, right before the legs started to get back to normal, when my stomach was acting a little strange--when a tiny little voice thought, "wow, this is hard", and then laughed and said "yeah, you wouldn't be doing it if it was easy".

There are no words to describe the emotions of that day. I was veclempt just prior to the swim entrance, when I was talking to my coach who was on the sideline. I was taking in the past 9 months of training, thinking back to October when swimming 800 yards was a stretch--now knowing I could doing 2.4 miles in under an hour and half. I thought about getting my bike in Sept. (yup, just 10 months ago) and falling off of it, AND Getting Back On It, and building my training rides of 100+ miles. I thought about Mary Eggers and her blog and the inspiration of so many others, and yoga and the yoga teacher training I went through and how it all fits. I thought about running and how much I still need to work on. Funny thing was I did not think about the rain. AND IT RAINED and Rained...and Rained...

Now don't get me wrong--Yeah, I was sad I did not finish..I was able to feel it and sit with it and cried..but the OVERWHELMING, OVERWHELMING Great Feeling of the day..of THE YEAR took over. I saw my friends finish and cried because I was soo happy for them--heck, I cried last year watching it online...

I am so blessed. I am grateful. I am humbled by a Power that is so much greater than me..to be given so much "drive" and happiness--its utterly amazing. My thanks to God (hey, if that offends you, don't read my blog) to not only enjoy my day, to give me the sight to be able to see how much I have done, have far I have come and REALLY be able to BE.IN.THESE MOMENTS. I am truly blessed...in soooo many ways...

I also want to say a A Giant Thank You to my friends (Kristina and the gang) who braved the rain throughout the entire day to watch and shout and scream...taking their vacation time to see me and support me...

A Thank You to BOB--I love you so much for everything you have done this year...I can't even count the number of ways you were/have been/are there for me...

Thank you to Coachie--for everything...

And Yes, I am registered for next year...YIPPEE!!!

Angie

No Internet and cell...

2008-07-25T07:18:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone...

We left for Lake Champlaine on July 13th for two weeks and had no Internet and broken cell phone service. It was after I got there that I realized I had given no updates. UGH.

So sorry.

We are back and I am in full blogging swing. Next year it's July 26th, 2009 and my sister is coming up!

Peace
Kodiacbear

training...a tri...and then some

2008-07-08T06:58:00.004-04:00

Lets see...I did my last long ride last week and ended up in a thunderstorm and freezing underneath someones breazeway--until I could get a ride home. I ended up with 76 miles in all for the last one. I was bummed but I did get a good amount in the week before...

There was another sprint tri this past weekend for a local cause and it was a blast! I am part of the NCC Triathlon Team and we showed up in full force. We were a "Sea of Blue" on the course and the local townspeople along with everyone on the course cheered.

On the swim--I freaked out. I seemed to forget how to swim freestyle and ended up breaststroked about 3/4 of the way. I have been going over it and trying to figure out what happened--and now I have homework from coachie. Somethng did come to me last night. The first tri I did was an olympic distance and a lot bigger. I warmed up and was mentally prepared. There were about 100 or so women starting in my wave. I expected chaos and my head was set for it. Not so much for this one. No warm up either. Lessons learned and pulling it together now before the Big One...and uhh..yeah..the homework--getting on it.

The Bike was awesome, I was able to pass a few or so, and although I lost my chain and fell off it as I tried to fix it, I was pissed but it spurred me on so I was still able to pass once again. I knew my run was the worst of the three so I needed to make up my time here.

The Run was a nice run--out and back-and it was great to see my teammates and cheer along the way.

There has been much more but it's been a blurr these last couple of weeks. I am beginning my taper and starting to pack for our two weeks away. We are leaving this Sunday--a full week before the race--to a cottage in Lake Champlain. My husband and I will head into Lake Placid for the weekend of the race.

Getting excited. More thoughts on the Ironman...and I have plently...but just need the time to get in down.

Peace

Kodiacbear

2 Full Weeks Behind...Belated Race Report

2008-06-26T19:03:00.007-04:00

Race Report for my first tri:

Packed the kids up and shipped then out to Grandma's for the night so I could leave at 4:00am, giving myself enough time for the coffee on the way. Packed up my stuff and fell asleep early.

Drive across state was peaceful and not too bad. Started raining/misting on the way but I was on cloud nine and still wicked excited (that was for you, Wendy). Bob and the boys were going to drive up after he got out of work...what an awesome husband on Father's day to spend it driving across state to watch me in my first race (doesn't it figure they actually had a fire to fight in the middle of the night so he had NO sleep and still came out to watch!)...okay, slight digress there. I love you babe.

Pulled in the empty parking lot a little before 6:00am when registration was suppose to start. I hadn't registered yet so I wanted to get there early enough to find out what I was doing. There were exactly 3 other cars there and we were all new to this. Go figure. Raining now. Actually picking up a little bit....

Registered, bike set up and found my way to the bike transition area. And here I thought I was all prepared--plastic bags in hand and extra towels...yeah...but that's not helpful when it pours...nothing would really keep anything dry at this point.

Met new faces and a friendly crowd although it was not as big as what was expected 'cause the rain. Yeah. Hell, everyone here was a new face since this is my very first triathlon, so I don't really know who's who yet. Hee Hee. Yes, Ang, have another glass of wine please while you write. And I'll have one for you, too, while I am at it.

Warmed up swimming, not too bad, REALLY foggy and hard to see the bouys--but I was here and I was feeling great. My plan was that this was part of my training day. EVERYTHING at IM pace, its a practice run for the Ironman, my "A" race. It's drilled in my head. IM Pace, IM Pace, IM Pace, IM Pace... Got it, coach, got it. Zone 2, Zone 2, Zone 2, Zone 2, Zone 2...

We had wave entries and I was in the third wave. I got kicked in the head only once and made it out in 0:32 minutes while swallowing only about half the lake. Then a LONG ASS transition up a trail run to the bikes. I did not run up to T1 which I now regret but say la vie, and I did take the extra time to put on my arm warmers. All in all T1 transition time: 11 minutes. This did get a chuckle from my coach--what'd you take a nap? Cute. Very Cute.

Bike all set and ready to roll practicing nutrition plan. Felt great, zone 2 the whole time and worked on nutrition. Bob and the boys caught up with me and we talked a bit while they drove next to me. That was neat. I love them!! The boys were all excited about it. Then they hollard a bit when I came around for the second loop. It was still RAINING steady through this all but I was warm and having fun so I no bothers there. And I was still smiling. The Whole Friggin Time.

Transition 2 much better time..like 4-5 min. or so...plastic bags did not work so well. Put on soaking wet socks and soaked shoes with the thinking, it's only 6 miles. It's all still so good.

Run went off as planned. ZONE 2 heartrate and comfortable run with 2 pee stops. Honestly, I thought I had a UTI. I cheered for our western mass cyclonauts team as they passed me on their second loop. Way to go guys!! And I still smiled the whole way.

My boys met up with me about mile 2 and ran with me a bit..I am glad they are so excited by it.

My calf has been giving me some trouble after a stupid move on my part a few weeks back..so it takes it a little while to warm up and be okay. It was still barking a little when I crossed the finish line but I FELT GREAT!!! What an awesome day in the rain and spent with my boys. All of them!! Love you guys!

So that was that. I think it went really well. It was slow and steady like the plan said but I Had a Blast and yes, I am hooked.

kodiacbear

Almost There...

2008-06-14T06:51:00.002-04:00

Its getting closer. Yup. 2 more days (not including today) 'til we head to Placid for 3 glorious days of training. Even if it rains. Did I mention--3 days alone with just my husband?? Just me and him--no kiddos. Nope. Never happened before. Yet another first on this journey.

They are just as excited to be spending 3 days with Grandma, too, and since they got out of school LAST WEEK (another reason why this past week was so harried), Six Flags is planned, along with Old Sturbridge Village. They can't wait, and neither can we...

Peace
kodiacbear

a little stressed...

2008-06-13T21:01:00.003-04:00

My husband and I are heading to Lake Placid for a few days of training..But first I need to do a million and one things. Training is gearing up and this week has been a little harried trying to fit everything in...a mixed up work schedule along with swim meets for my son and training for me and father's day and oh did I mention a RACE on Sunday since I was sick for June 1st sprint. Yeah. This one is an Olympic distance, pretty hilly both bike and run and I need to travel across state for it. But I'm excited for it. Surprisingly. It's just a training day, says coach, "Just a training day"--everything at IM pace and practice transitions. Got it. I am on it and looking forward to it :) HEE HEE.

Its actually a good thing its only practice 'cause right now I am rolling on the biofoam and stretching the crap out of my calf and hip flexor from a 2.5 hour run this morning. And then there is getting through tomorrow: dropping the kids at MIL so I can get a 90 minute bike ride and an open water swim clinic in the morning, picking up the kids and getting a father's day present, off to a graduation party, packing for the "Race" (practice day), dinner at MIL, dropping kids off for the night with her, getting my gear and bike set up, not having Bob home 'cause he's working a 24 hour shift and then leaving at 4am....by myself...for my first race...

Somewhere in there I need to pack for Placid since I work on Monday.

Enough complaining. Sorry.

On another note: I am trying to get technical T shirts made up for my triathlon team members and my peeps so I can recognize them when they are cheering at Lake Placid. Unfortunatley our colors may end up being navy blue and white which can get a little hot. We will see. Waiting for logos right now to get screened and maybe some choices to choose from.

Thats it for now..

Peace
kodiacbear

First Century Ride...

2008-06-04T06:17:00.006-04:00

Throughout this journey, everything has been firsts for me. My first bike (in a decade), first day with clipless peddles on a bike, running my first 6 mile race, first open water swim (more about that one later), first triathlon that I never made it to, and yesterday was my first century bike ride.

I felt so good after, I got off and did a transition run and then ran a kids 2.4 mile trail run with the boys. I may not be the fastest but I will finish. It's kinda neat how this is all coming along. Many, many thanks to a great coach who keeps me well. After all the back issues earlier with the very real possibiliy of not being able to do this I am so happy I am on my way.

With each passing day I am so blessed with what I am given and able to do. Yes, again it is a privilege to be able to do this.

First Triathlon. Ever.

2008-06-02T20:48:00.005-04:00

I was all set and ready for my very first Triathlon. Ever.

Yeah, I know. Signing up for Lake Placid may not have been the brightest idea, but truly right now (after the nerves/bad food/virus), I am healthier than I have ever been and I am having the time of my life. Truly, this is what it's about--getting to that start line and having a great time in the meantime. The Ultimate Goal--finishing the Ironman with a smile on my face and upright--all icing on the cake.

But for my first big day--my first sprint...I was excited and nervous and packed and ready to go. Bags packed-checked and double checked. Food-check. Bike all set. and I was an eerily excitedly calm. Went to bed at 9pm with 2 alarms set for 4:50am.

What happened at 11:30pm was not what I counted on. I was sooo sick--thoughout the night and right past the start. This was bad shrimp about 48 hours ago sick. This was sick with capital letters. Throughout the night. Into the morning. Start time came and went with a feeble attempt to get in my car and watch. That ended on the highway with me pulled over, sweaty and windows rolled down calling my husband that he may need to come pick me up.

So, sadly it was a no go. Is this how it goes? You can be prepared and ready and set but you can never know what comes up (no punn intended). Much like what the Ironman will be--the unexpected, and as Mary and Comm and many before me have said...expect the unexpected. You never know what the day will bring. Some things you just have no control over. Be prepared--Immodium, Pepto, Zofran and Electrolytes...do the best you can and let the rest fall into place.

I was thinking of all of you out there, friends and NCC members. And I will see you at the next one.

Time to move on and move forward and get ready for my century ride on Tuesday.

Peace
Kodiacbear

Phew...

2008-05-27T08:09:00.003-04:00

Thankfully, no more emotionality anymore.

So, in a message to my coach the other day..."I just finished my 2 hour 21 minute run....it's done...I am not sure how I am suppose to feel after a 90 mile bike yesterday and a long run today (side note here: not usually planned this way but I needed to rearrange for my scheduling purposes) since I have never done anything like this before...My legs are pretty much done with me right now and are protesting any further forward motion." But, its all good. And I feel good--and tired, and Need. To. Stretch....

Long rides and long runs take up a good amount of my time since Lake Placid is less than 8 weeks away! O.M.G. Holy Shit....and a few other choice words.

Not panicking quite yet. I am right on target. At least that is what I keep telling myself. "I am right where I need to be."--so my coach keeps telling me. It's a mantra. and I'll say it 'til I believe it. No wavering.

Gearing up to head to Placid for a few days--mid June--in just a little over two weeks now, with training plans in hand and to check out the course. Kinda excited 'bout that now.

More blog thoughts are on the way...like Coaching styles--coaching for the kiddos while they are still young and impressionable...what kind to look for and what kind I had...and whats so important about it anyway...

Off to bring the kids to school..off to train...
Kodiacbear

It's me, not you, all me...

2008-05-15T18:10:00.005-04:00

I think I am PMSing.

I have to be. Everything today is making me cry. I was reading Athena Diaries about the softball team and cried. I didn't go on my long bike ride today and almost cried. I sat with a friend instead and almost cried. I had a bad swim today..and yeah, yeah you guessed it. What the hell!!

I need to remember that its just a day..tomorrow will be better...out for a bike ride--an 80 miler with my friend Marie. It'll be a better day...

Until Then...

Kodiacbear

Who Woulda' Thought??

2008-05-15T13:05:00.004-04:00

About those four posts that were started but never finished...

One of them was about a Trapeze Lesson...

A little bit ago--about 2 weeks now--we took our 2 young boys out to the Eastern part of the state for a trapeze lesson as a surprise for Ian finishing his 4 LONG years of speech therapy and for Joe for doing well with his surgery and his 2 months of incapacitation following it.

We got there and my youngest, Ian, looked up about 40 feet to someone hanging upside down from the trapeze and suddenly stepped back, shook his head NO and loudly protested--"I'll take pictures, mom". Me--eerily excited said, "sure, I'll do it" and took his place.

What the hell was I thinking?

We had a brief lesson--I mean REALLY brief lesson on the ground. Like "ok, swing from the trapeze bar, listen for 'knees up' to put your knees up and over the bar (like you did when you were a kid) and 'hands down' to let go with your hands and hang upside down (40 feet above the ground), 'hands up' to grab the bar again....good luck up there...and your off...

Then you do it 40 feet above the ground. There was a net. But...Still...

You're in a harness..and you stand at the top with your toes over the edge, and hang on with one hand while the other reaches out for the bar. Then you need to...LET GO....OK, now LET GO...Ok.. now.. LET GO...

Yeah. About the third time I let go...and my first time I ended up just swinging...back..and.. forth...back...and...forth...

Joe had a blast, no fear

I finally did it and got the guts to hang upside down and we practiced for the 2 hours. We finished off the two hours of practice with a 'catcher' catching you as you hang upside down and swing toward him on his trapeze, just like in the circus....pretty fun stuff...and overcoming those fears.

peace
kodiacbear

The Hillclimb...Part II

2008-05-09T05:51:00.008-04:00

I know. I know.

Its been crazy busy. I have 4 blog entries started but none finished.

So here we go: hillclimb II

Yeah. About Breaking those boundaries I mentioned a few blogs ago......

The Hillclimb. Well, I showed up and met my coach. I was really nervous and feeling way out of my league. Second thoughts were screaming at me. I should do this by myself. No Pressure. The voices told me to chill the F*** out.

My coach brought a friend. Great, I thought, I won't be alone on the bottom of this mountain going up. Yeah, right. This Friend--the one who just ran a rugged crazy half marathon trail run that kicks ass 2 days ago prior...Oh yeah...this friend...yeah, "did she tell you what she used to do...pro downhill mountain bike racer." Oh. Yeah. Friggin Great. I want to cry.

We carry on and finish our warm up--they were going nice and slow for me for the warm-up...thank you very much, and then we meet up with the others who were waiting to start the climb.

Interjection Here: What is a Hillclimb? This one is a 6.0 mile road thats up hill. For 6 miles. A slow climb to start and finishes with a hearty steeper section to just make your day. You start with a group of cyclists (and me) and go up it as fast as you can. Like a race. Kinda. You get points awarded based on the number of participants and where you finish (time wise). The points are cumulative over the season. There is something different every week alternating between a hillclimb (various hills throughout out region) and time trials (short 7 mile TT and a longer 18 mile TT). with points for each night.

So, we are here at the start of the climb--a group of avid bike racing cyclists with their legs so smooth and silky (I'm secretly jealous and want the intel on how they did it). I am nervous. and hell I will probably be last but I am here. I showed up and I am ready to do it. And I get 1 point for just showing up.

I am new. I bought my bike in Sept. and I fell off it a bit. I am a 'back of the pack' packer. But...I Did It. I did it slow just to see if I could do it, I got up it and then more importantly, then I got DOWN it.

For those of you that didn't know it, I HATED GOING DOWNHILL!!! Yes, past tense is correct, because after last Tuesday night it's not so bad anymore. My coach rode next to me, on the side of my back wheel for the first part of it--which made me SO FRIGGING CRAZY that I just went down with virtually NO Brakes just to get away from her and I made it down and now I am one step closer to Lake Placid. Here I Come.

I get better everyday...and it's something so pretty cool to see.

Carry On,
Kodiacbear

The Hillclimb..

2008-05-04T14:06:00.003-04:00

Training's been busy. But I am Loving It!!

I am thrilled by my schedule. Exactly the same way Mary does when she gets hers. And so many people don't understand it..and I feel for them.

What is it that your excited about? What are the 101 things that you would like to do?

So, what are you waiting for? This is it. This is your life. Be present with it now, with all the ups and downs, with the hillclimbs that never seem to end followed by the fast and furious downhill that will challenge even the most daring...

I have a hillclimb scheduled for Tuesday. It's a big one. And the downhill for me is the worst of it. My coach will ride too. Each with our own goals. Fearless, she said. That's it. Remember it. Time to drop the load at the top and leave it behind. Trust, Turn it Over, and Let it Go.

So here we go....

Kodiacbear

You will never know what you can do if you don't tri...

Its Over...

2008-04-25T06:55:00.004-04:00

Four years.

Almost to the date.

We are DONE.

My youngest son ended his speech sessions today.

After 4 years (and he's only 6 years old)

Four years of private 2 x week 1 hour each speech sessions.
This was in addition to the 3 years of preschool 5 x week one on one speech he received up until last year. For the majority of his little life he has spent trying to learn to talk--what 80% of people do automatically everyday and take for granted. AND HE IS DONE. Its ended. FINISHED.

He's come a long way. He's worked REALLY hard. And he is SOOO excited!!

and I am just a little excited, too!!!!

He was born with a neurological speech disorder called apraxia and his is what some experts say is "pure apraxia", a very rare occurrence. Thankfully. Usually apraxia is also linked with cognitive challenges and/or other dis-abilities. Not his. Much blessings.

I caught it early--started making phone calls when he was 16months old, based on the mom 'gut' instinct--and was persistent--tenacious even, when it came to the opinions of others--and there were many..."oh, he's your second boy...a late-talker...don't worry..and the best of all he's just lazy". Sometimes it was hard but I followed what I believed to be the right thing to do, following the voice that said "go with it", giving a friendly nod or thank you to others opinions but on the path I knew was right and made appointments and follow ups and more evaluations.

I attended conferences and did research until my eyes were blurry. We flew to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN for a week to meet with a top specialist and received wonderful insight and instruction. We brought the information back here and used it as educationsl purposes, starting a local support group and networking. My local speech therapist was willing to work with us, a godsend with warmth and love followed by sooo much experience. My goal-by doing all this work early -was to have him talking and in the same school as his brother.

This past Sept. he entered Kindergarten in the same school as his brother.

He stopped Occupational Therapy last month and Speech this week. AMEN.

It's funny what life lessons are learned and most importantly how they are applied to your LIFE.

I did a long ride earlier this week. 66.1 miles, to be exact. HARD miles. Hills that would just not quit. And neither did I. I was slow but I was still going..and going..and going. I called my coach right after the ride. "That was HARD", I said and laughed. Now please don't take that as complaining. It was just a statement, with the idea that in two weeks it'll get better and everday I am out there I am a little stronger. Her email to me: "Remember ... we are training your body to ENDURE, but we are training your mind to be TENACIOUS." Oh, I am getting there, sista, I am getting there....

Peace
Kodiacbear

Great Times..

2008-04-24T09:02:00.006-04:00

Sunshine...Family...Vacation...Fun...Sunshine...Training...

did I mention sunshine??

Spring is here to stay--because I just put the snowblower and shovels away, so it needs to stay..at least for a little while.

On a training note:

At the pool the other afternoon, I had to circle swim..first time for me...and someone followed me...NO PRESSURE THERE! I am not in a Masters program--maybe next year I'll move up to the big leagues...but right now I am too scared of it and the times are not there...Slowly but surely-for me I am getting there...and yes, it's all about ME and where I stand, where I was and where I am going...hmm, I digress

There's nothing like someone swimming behind you to keep you honest..and after all that, someone else called me fast after my cool down....

What to do with that?---when everything in me says "no way man--you should see so and so, or are you kidding me? me?" In the end, it's a Thank You...and walk away.

peace for now
Kodiacbear

Everyday..

2008-04-21T20:14:00.002-04:00

Training has been fantastic! Work has been hectic. Where does the time go??

I've barely kept up with my bloggie friends who competed in Ironman Arizona.
Way to GO Megan! Congrats. I found her blog when I was procrastinating. How fitting.
Commodore--We're with you in your next adventure of health and happiness. Take it easy, my friend.

My coach has upped the hours in training once we had made sure my back was set and ready to go--we are OFF!! Yahoo!! Way Cool..but it leaves me little time to blog about these daily workout adventures. So I will try and summarize what I have been feeling and thinking about these fast and furious few weeks.

Everyday.

Everday my workouts get longer and longer...

and

Everday I am getting stronger. and stronger. and stronger.

Many more days than not it's been positive workouts. Working on Nurtrition. Areobars. Speed. Endurance. Hills. Tempo Runs/Bike. Bricks. Swimming.

Someone recently asked me so what's your favorite?

"depends on the day"

more likely depends on what I'm doing. I enjoy each while I am doing it.. for the most part...I'm in the Now. In the Present--whether it's goofing off with my baby boys--playing monster in the trash can, or having them play on the playground while I do my hill repeats...or saying "this SUCKS" as I climb and climb and climb on a 46 mile hillclimb... it's all really good...because I know the hill will eventually end and my legs will get stronger and I will stop wheezing...eventually...and I am so lucky to have an able body to do it with...its a privilege to be able to do it (a quote from one of my bloggie connections)

Right now in this moment: Life just doesn't get any better than this.

I know things can change in an instant so I'll take this right now--and respectfully give my thanks for it .

peace
Kodiacbear

On Being Adequete...

2008-03-30T15:55:00.010-04:00

From the Merriam-Websters Online dictionary-Adequate: enough to meet the needs of a situation; sufficient for a specific requirement ...

So this is what I was thinking about as I was cleaning my kitchen and bathroom floors the other day. I am an Adequate housewife--and you know what? I think that's okay. My time is spent at work or the boys or hubby or training, and keeping the house to the minimal amount of clutter and choas that I can sanely be okay with...and all in all, it is Adequate.

Now, on being an adequate athlete...(that word still cracks me up--athlete--the part of calling myself an athlete..who would of ever thought??) part of me says, yeah, I am okay with that--but another side says, what can I REALLY do?...and why am I afraid to find out?

Time to dig deep.

What was my mantra again?: Trust, Turn it over and Let it Go. I find when I do that--let it go--things work so much better. I conserve a lot more energy (mental and physical) and I am so much happier.

So this is how I found myself following a pool workout today. I realized I could do it, nice and easy, it'll be okay and I won't die....

Now that I know I can do it, what can I do if I actually try?

Next Post: OVERCOMING BOUNDARIES

peace
kodiacbear

Hypothetically Speaking...

2008-03-25T08:32:00.004-04:00

a conversation:

Me: "So hypothetically speaking, say one of your athletes did not get their ass out of bed in time (much to the disappointment of husband, already apologized profusely and feel bad enough as it is) to get in the full workout, but instead did hill repeats and cool down with stretching, how would you proceed with that?"

This is my guilt ridden conversation in my head...and I am not quite sure where it would lead.

I'll let you know.

Kodiacbear

I love his energy...

2008-03-23T08:57:00.007-04:00

He is so enthusiast...and his love for triathlon rings clear.

Commodore is going for it again--to become a member of the EVOTRI team.

SO I ask again of all my bloggy friends to look at the competition and make your vote. Here is the website and what it is all about:

http://www.evotri.com/

and here is Commodore's blog to read about his adventures: http://www.commonmansyndrome.com/

Voting is now open to all email accounts through March 28th, next Friday. You no longer have to go to the website or use the EVOTE button.

send emails to: vote@evotri.com in the Subject line put: commonmansyndrome

peace

kodiacbear

News Update...

2008-03-23T07:27:00.013-04:00

MRI came back with a couple bulging discs (along with 60% of America) and slight arthritis but nothing significant. PCP doc says okay and chiropractor says GO FOR IT--so....Placid here I come.

Now about my Job...(to answer a few questions that popped up)

I work for a private ambulance service, not a Fire Dept, so no retirement plan here unfortunately..

I also work in a high volume urban area, which translates to unhealthy 'bigger' individuals who live on the second or third or fourth floors and need to be carried down 2 or 3 or 4 flights of stairs. We do live in a fat America. Now I work with a GREAT fire dept. and they do most of the lifting for me but I can't/won't/shouldn't count on this. When we go into other cities to help out, its the same thing but without the same assistance. You'd be lucky to get a police officer on a scene of a drug overdose to show up, never mind help to lift someone off the ground and onto the stretcher.

The whole profession is rough on your back....

When people get sick or fall or die or overdose, they end up being in the most difficult places...they are wedged between the toilet and the sink in the mini size bathroom with the cockroaches scurrying around...and sometimes not breathing...and because its such a small place it allows only for maybe 1-2 people more in there to drag them out...into the narrower hallway that again only fits 1-2 of you... where now you would have to get to the airway and maybe begin CPR and IVs and medical drugs to help them. From this hallway, it's then down the narrow stairwell (because of course they were in the second floor bathroom or closet)...all the while maintaining their airway, CPR, and not getting tangled in the IV lines or the monitor cables or unhooking the oxygen tank while they are strapped into a chair or onto a board....then into the back of the ambulance, while moving 40-75mph, you're still working...you're maintaining that airway, rechecking blood pressures, pulses, cardiac monitors or fighting with the drunkard who is trying to unstrap himself and get up...you're restarting an IV that the drug addict just pulled out because you just woke her up after she wasn't breathing...all the while standing bent over or on one foot with the other foot up planted against the stretcher so you can reach over and get that something from the cabinet...or your foot is planted against the seat to keep your balance or your just standing keeping your balance, using your core but all the while still bent over and not so good for your back....then the a**hole in the car in front of the ambulance just pulled out in front of us and your partner who is driving needs to slam on the brakes and since you're by yourself in the back (maybe a second person when you need it) you get thrown to the front of the ambulance and hit the wall...

WOW, I just vented. But it's all good. I do love my job. Not finding the cockroach in my shirt after the call or the 16 year old drug addict who just spit on me..but I love that every call is different...that I get to meet some very interesting people--the 90 and 101 year olds that can still talk to you about their life and what they saw--the kids who are sometimes wise beyond their years---how utterly amazing.

Here's the latest...

2008-03-15T07:32:00.007-04:00

I've been MIA. I know. I'm sorry.

I've had really awesome training weeks and now I am still training but at a lighter level. and bummed..

Here's the thing. My back is still bothering me. I have an MRI scheduled for Tuesday. It may just be arthritis. The X-Rays showed the beginning stages of that. And, although not terrific, and as long as it is not disc related or such, its still okay news. I can still do this. And I am still going to go for it. I will know where the pain is coming from and can learn how to work with it.

And I would need to go back to school to find a new career. For those that do not know, I am a Paramedic, and have been for umm...going on 15 years this year...

It's what I do, it's part of who I am. I still love it. And my schedule can't be beat--two 24 hour shifts and 5 days off. I schedule it around my husband's schedule so one of us is home. And my partners are awesome. We work well together. On our "down time" when there are no calls (depending on the day/week) we have high speed Internet connection, a kitchen, living room and bedrooms. I have been seen/heard on my trainer in a spare room (a big closet).

Any suggestions? (mind out of the gutters, thank you)...

....although I did here on the radio in a state where prostitution is legal (CT??) that the 27 yr old college educated Madame made over half a million last year, has a family, and can retire in another year....

Catch Up Time...

2008-02-26T07:35:00.000-05:00

Again with the long overdue catch up blog, geesh:

Lets' see first:
Valentine's Day came and went along with my birthday a week later (nearing the 40 year mark well too quickly). I was pleasantly surprised with a blue seventy helix wetsuit for Lake Placid. Its really nice--although right now, my happiness is tempered with my nagging back/hip pain that seems to never end and gets worse with swimming.

Bob and I also had a day away together--not actually very far away, only a few towns over--but a Marriott Courtyard nonetheless. We dropped the kids off with my MIL (Love You!) and went snowshoeing, checked into the hotel, dinner and spent a night on the town browsing in Barnes and Noble not in the children's section!! Armed with Triathlon magazine and a good book, we went back to the hotel.

The next day we spent cross country skiing and each of us ended up with a pair cross country skis that were rentals on sale, had a quick lunch and headed home for the afternoon since I still had a 2.5 hour bike ride on the trainer to do. It was such an awesome day.

All right, off to school with the kids right now, more to come later

kodiacbear

Commodore

2008-02-19T07:13:00.004-05:00

One of the blogs that I keep up with as often as I can is Common Man Syndrome. He is in the running for Team EvoTri and I think he is a deserving and well qualified canidate. Watch his entry video and you will see:

Team Evotri Mission Statement
The members of Team Evotri will challenge themselves and others to live a healthy and active lifestyle through endurance sports. Given the extraordinary opportunity to train and race with the same equipment and coaching of the pros, they will dedicate themselves to maximizing their potential, to sharing what they learn from their experiences, and to making a positive contribution to the endurance sport community.

Therefore, i would like to encourge all my viewers (yes, both of you) to vote for him and spread the word. Here is how: send an email to vote@evotri.com with Commodore on the Subject Line and pass it along.

thanks

kodiacbear

Time Management 101...

2008-02-17T07:41:00.003-05:00

I cannot possibly fit in 26 hours into a 24 hour day. It cannot be done. I've tried.

But I can rearrange. Its what my life seems to be about...Rearranging...and I have decided that it's okay. At least I am able to do it. I only work 2 days a week, 24 hours at a time. My husband does the same. Rearranging comes from his Firefighter rotating schedule. I rearrange my schedule around his--so we've always saved on the childcare front--and the kids have the benefit of one of us always home with them. But there always comes the month where our schedules are opposite: he works Sun/Tues. and I work Mon./Wed. and the next week I usually do Sun. and some variation during the week to make up the hours, followed by a Mon/Wed and Tues/Thurs. again. Then I need to add in the training hours--like how do you get to the pool at 6:00am when he is working and you need to go in to work?? It all eventually works out. Just a little forethought and planning. It could ALWAYS be worse...We still ARE pretty fortunate to be able to do it ALL.

Now off to play!

Kodiacbear

Always a Plan B...

2008-02-06T15:28:00.000-05:00

It's so nice to be back...

and to still learn lessons everyday...like always having a Plan B.

Arrived nice and early at the pool , dressed in my swimsuit under my work clothes, to not have my towel or goggles. Now I could swim without goggles, not very pleasant but doable. The towel, I needed. No towel service at the pool I used this morning. GRRR!!

Plan B: Running and Strength

It worked.

Lesson #1897 heeding my own advice to always have a spare towel in the trunk ( next to that spare set of sneakers ) and replace it after use it for your son's swim lessons)

kodiacbear

Houston, we have lift off...

2008-02-01T14:27:00.000-05:00

Dare I say things are going well...we are on track and things are looking good. Body, mind and soul seem to be realigned and take off is imminant. Stay tuned...

I Did It!!

2008-01-29T13:14:00.000-05:00

I ran yesterday. Yup, with no pain. With ease and lightness. For 10 minutes and then stopped. I felt great and I has a smile on my face the whole time. No pain, nowhere, nope, nada.

I did an elliptical workout and ended it with my run test. Passed with flying colors. Yippee!

Wonderful Man Award

2008-01-26T19:40:00.000-05:00

I have a wonderful guy. But, I knew that. That's why I married him. He sent me this the other day when he noticed I was off. It was perfect. Just what I needed.

"Our Deepest Fear" by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Peace
Kodiacbear

Explaining my abscence...

2008-01-25T19:01:00.000-05:00

My oldest son, Joe, had otoplasty last week. He was born with a cleft palate and has been under the care of the most wonderful people at Shriners Hospital. With this cleft palate, came the otoplasty surgery when he decided it was time. And last summer he decided it was time. So on January 16th we went through with it and it is awesome. Now, I thought he was awesome from the beginning and would not have changed a thing about him. But, I am his Mom and I love him no matter what. Which is one reason I let him go through with it. He felt strongly about it and so it is.

The bandages came off yesterday and now he wears a ski headband 24 hours a day for 1 month and then only at night for another month. No sports or gym. Bummer for him who is just as active as I am--but we are getting through it. There is always rock climbing at the rock wall. Sorry, no pictures, my camera broke.

On a side note--no pun intendeded--it's my quadratus, the little bugger, thats got me so tied up right now. So I swim, and stretch and use the biofoam and get massages and use the elliptical. I will try running on Sunday and see how that goes. My half marathon planned for Feb. 24th is off for now, but my biking on the trainer is still going strong.

So thats that.

Its good to be back!!

Peace

Kodiacbear

(Un)balanced

2008-01-23T12:24:00.000-05:00

The past couple of weeks have been filled with meditation and reflection and upside down asanas (yoga poses), trying to "work through" these current challenges of hip, knee and back pain. When the hip first started I started thinking about it metaphorically. The hip is about moving forward and because all of the issues are on my right side--its also about being unbalanced.

So what is it that is unbalanced in my life?

The past few years has been about my youngest son Ian, born with childhood apraxia of speech. Since he was 16 months old, I knew something was different. The years have been about gathering information: from the Apraxia-Kids website, traveling to Mayo Clinic, MN to see Dr. Edythe Strand, a top specialists in apraxia, bringing him to speech and OT and pre-school, traveling to Philadelphia for conferences, working with Dr. Shelley Vellemen at UMass and working to establishing the Western Mass. Apraxia Support Group. The years have been about becoming an educational advocate for the Federation of Children with Special Needs, and going back to school full time to finish up loose ends.

I am doing none of that now.

Now I feel that its all about me and I am uncomfortable with this. Although my kids love the sports and are excited about it, I still feel that I am being selfish and missing something, that I should be doing this FOR something, for some type of cause. I have found this remedied through the Janus Foundation, and I can either raise money for Shriner's (my oldest was born with a cleft palate and Shriner's have been wonderful for our family over the years) or the CASANA foundation (the apraxia-kids foundation). Its not much work on my part, as I do not have to go out and solicit. It'll take a few letters and registration and it goes from there.

What's blocking me from moving forward?

This seems to be stemmed from fear of how far I can actually go. As the workouts get longer and I am getting more excited about it, part of me is still holding back. I think it's the part that sees that WOW, this actually can be a real possibility, that I CAN do this, and the real fear of doing this. It's getting closer, and here is where my self doubt and fear comes in to stop it before I am out of my league. But...I can see myself at the start of the swim. I can see myself at the transition and then the bike. The bike makes me nervous--but the practice rides make me excited. I started this as a challenge to myself--to see if it is something that I can do, to challenge myself physically, to see how far I can go, to see if I can do it, and now realizing it is happening has scared the pants off me. I started this as a journey to see what I can do and now realizing its not too far away is pretty daunting. So now I just need to go--without the hesitation and the limitations that I am putting on myself, to let go of the fear of failure or of not being good enough. I have the wonderful support of my family and with this I should be able to fly.

So that's what I have been doing--along with PT, Chiropractor, and myotherapy massage appts. Its been about looking inward and swimming, biking, elliptical and core and lots and lots of stretching.

peace
kodiacbear

Doing what I can do...

2008-01-10T22:03:00.000-05:00

I tried running again. Not too good. My hip and lower back has been giving me trouble. It's muscular and it's time for a support network. I have a deep tissue/neuromuscular massage scheduled for tomorrow and saturday, PT for Monday and the Chiropractor on Tuesday.

So in the meantime, I can swim, have a grand time on the elliptical, and do more biking--and see if I can get this under control.

This too shall pass. "Trust, turn it over and let it go"

Peace
kodiacbear

Back in the Saddle

2008-01-08T21:20:00.000-05:00

Back to Work. Back to my job and back to training. The first day back in the pool (after two weeks) was a tough one and very slow. Its just one of those days. and I'm sure more will come. and they are okay to have--just get through it.

It's good to know this, and remind myself, and go with it. Just go with it. And of course, everything looks brighter after sleep and food, and tomorrow is another day.

An Awesome Surprise!!!!

2008-01-04T16:09:00.000-05:00

Bob and I came home today to the most "awesome" surprise!! It is a a brand new toboggan from my brother. We had th BEST time ever in winter growing up with it. My children were just as excited. I needed to explain to them it was a present to me, from MY brother because of memories we share growing up. Yes, in the "old days". Now we can make new memories for them to share when they are older.

Sometimes you get those gifts that are 'right on' , from the heart--they can be small, like a miniature jar of maple syrup because they know how much you like the real stuff, a homemade card or ornament, or a donation made in your honor to your favorite charity. It can be as big as a toboggan, to bring back memories you have from it while growing up. Its a gift from the soul [my SIL said he used his own Christmas money for it, too:) ]

I am so very blessed to have such people in my life. Thanks, buba, you almost made me cry.

Attitude of Gratitude

2008-01-02T19:45:00.000-05:00

I was first drawn to this blog by the title. I find in Scott's blog the most insightful and painfully truthful revealings about the Self. In an earlier blog he writes: Trust, Turn it over and Let it Go.

I like that... and its fitting in so many ways. It works for all aspects of life: family life, work, illness, and training.

Trust: In a Higher Power. Your loved ones. Your family. Your friends. Your coach. Yourself. In your instincts.

Turn it over: To a Higher Power...and to others when needed.

Let it Go: Let God (or Yahweh or Allah or the Universe). Put it away. The answers will come.

I like it: Trust, Turn it Over and Let it Go

It will become one of my mantras. I know I'll have many more. You know, the ones that keep you going on those long runs and long bikes and long swims.

What's yours??

Peace
kodiacbear

Reflecting...

2008-01-02T18:43:00.000-05:00

i beg you...to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if thery were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. don't search for the answers, which you could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is, to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without ever noticing it, live your way to the answer...(rainer maria rilke)

Things don't always go as planned.

With that said, I always, always come back to this saying, (its on my fridge) and then try to live it. At times this can be difficult. I have had a slight bump in the road the last few days--a myriad of physical anomalies, tired and sluggish and it has made me a little nervous. My mind has the desire to train, but my body is resisting...it is talking to me and I need to stop and pay attention. So I am paying attention.

A wise coach once said, "You know, nothing EVER goes as planned ... we just need to take this path until we have some sort of okay to either resume our former path or make a new one." That made me feel better-she totally gets it and with that said, I can absolutely adapt. I am flexible like that.

For now, then, it is rest and EASY stretching, core, and light, light stuff Z1 and maybe Z2 if I feel up to it. Its all good--and I will know on Friday.

peace
kodiacbear

How Much Do I Love This??

2007-12-31T09:21:00.000-05:00

First, I would like to say that I love what I do, both for work and play.

So on Sunday, at breakfast, my partner (I work as a Paramedic on an ambulance) asks do you really like this? (referring to the training), I emphatically say yes, and another crew member notes that, "yes, you can tell". Its good to hear that. I do feel changed. I feel better about myself and furthermore, more and more people have become interested in fitness and exercise. That speaks volumes.

Then there is my partner, Caryle, who, by the way lost 22 lbs since Nov. by just changing eating habits---GO CARLYE!!--and does not exercise. In fact, she states she hates it, which is why it is so hard for her to believe I love it. We all need our hobbies. Mine just happens to be this at the moment. One of hers is cooking and she is amazing at it.

And I do my best thinking and pondering while working out--what else can I ask for?

until next time
kodiacbear

What a pain in the...

2007-12-29T08:54:00.000-05:00

I hurt my back a few weeks ago, nothing too major--probably narrowed down to strength or a six hour yard clean up day, probably a pulled/strained muscle. I have kept on trucking along. I had some really great weeks with only minor aches and pains, a lot of ice, chiropractor, and naproxen.

Until this week. It has been a real pain in the a$$--at times literally.

And it may seem fitting that its my back down week for training..and I am on vacation from work...so it must all be good? right?

BUT IT IS SOO FRUSTRATING!!! I just needed to get that out.

But what I can do is reformat my week with: stretching, core, the elliptical, biking and light and easy swimming...and I guess it could always be worse.

Okay, that's it for my whining.

carrying on..
kodiacbear

A rookie mistake...Part II

2007-12-26T07:11:00.000-05:00

and it was: Syntace C2Clip aerobars along with various other bike accessories! Very well done.

kodiac

A rookie mistake..

2007-12-24T14:20:00.000-05:00

Over the last ten years, Bob has surprised me in more ways than I can write. One big one was my wedding. He planned the ENTIRE wedding and suprised me, another was a birthday present three months after Ian was born: a 3 day womens ice climbing trip. All long stories for another post.

But today he made a rookie mistake.

We were talking in the kitchen and he let it slip he talked to my coach. Now he tried to talk over it but I caught it. There is no reason he needed to talk to Martha. None, nope, nada. Gotcha!

"You talked to Martha?"

"Uh, (stammer, stammer)... she was returning your call and I told her to call your cell phone" all the while blushing--Wrong, try again. LOL.

He knew he was busted....

kodiacbear

Merry Christmas

2007-12-23T19:49:00.001-05:00

I would like to wish all of you a very Merry Holiday season with much light, love and happiness.

Kodiacbear

Balance...

2007-12-21T13:05:00.000-05:00

Its been a busy time this holiday season. For me, this week has been all about Balance and Centering.

From the Merriam Webster Online Dictionary: Balance (n) 1. mental and emotional steadiness.

At times, my Balance is dead on--like a rock..and other times...well...

All of us experience and deal with stress differently. How I fare during this process and how I come out at the end is all about Balance.

What keeps me centered and balanced is yoga. I use it in almost everything I do. At a stop light, on the bike, during the run, being mindful of the Breath, dropping the shoulders...and letting it go. Practicing this Mindfulness brings me Balance.

When I forget this, anxiety and stress builds up. It's seen in my white knuckles on the handlebars or my raised shoulders in the run or cursing at the inconsiderate drivers at this time of year. The craziness of the season can be overwhelming. It's in these instances I try to remember the simple things: The Breath. It's a reminder to drop the shoulders and relax...and when I can't possibly fit any more into the schedule, do the best that I can do with what I have and let the rest go.

Peace,
kodiacbear

Difference between Men and Women...

2007-12-19T15:35:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to post this for a little bit.

Since I have started this journey I have gotten much encouragement and wonder...the majority of females. They are excited and supportive, and in turn, it motivates them. Some of my male acquaintances (not you, Brohman--but, sadly, yes, you Christopher Hopewell) on the other hand have given me the once over and said..Really?? I wonder what's going through their head.

Now my goal is not to win...it is to finish..hopefully with a smile on my face...and being able to walk the next day. That's it. Not a specific time. Not a place. It's the journey. Its ALL about THIS journey, the right here and now. Its mindful running and mindful biking and mindful swimming. How fit can I become, how much fun can I have with it, and how much can I learn.

How much can I learn mentally (academically)--like how does my body work with support and nutrition and hydration, how its all put together--slow twitch fibers, fast twitch, lactic threshold I want to learn all that.

How much can I learn physically--how much can I do without getting hurt, what is the line??

How much can I learn emotionally--what do I have? how much do I have?

Is the difference between the men and women the mere willingness to take a challenge that they may not be able to do, and dare I say, fail? If it is, then they are missing the whole piece of it...

You can't win if you don't play and as Mary says so eloquently:

If I want something I have never had, then I've got to do something I have never done. So here I go.

night all
kodiacbear

Its been a while...

2007-12-18T13:00:00.000-05:00

Geesh, two snowstorms within a week, training and holidays leave NO time for blogging!!

I have been thinking of everyone, though, if that counts.

Training has been AWESOME--(wicked and awesome are Yankee words, I am told by my very southern sister in law, in her southern drawl) with very little back pain to boot. I love my biofoam roller. I roll on it every night before bed and sometimes before working out. My chiropractor helps, too:)

Lately I have been supermom and domestic trying to juggle it all while getting my training in. I am very fortunate to have my MIL to help out and take the kids when Bob is working so I can have an hour or so on the dreadmill at the gym. Saturday after taking the kids to b'ball and then a christmas party, I carved out an 1 1/2 hours at the gym with her help. That was a close one. Last night she watched them so I could go to a running clinic. Now, I know her, and she would much rather watch the kids so Bob and I could go out to dinner, but when we need to choose, we would much rather be running than get all gussied up just for dinner:) She is a good sport and knows how much this means to me. Thanks MOM!!

(P.S. She is watching then again Friday for an adult christmas party when we do get all gussied up.)

Now the running clinic was great in and of itself, but I also met a very cool person named Ness, and found out she blogged too, not to mention, she also races olympic distance triathlons. How very cool indeed.

It was a good day all around--time with Joe and Ian before school while making lunches and getting ready, drop kids off at school, a 1300yd swim, inspection sticker, a gigantic stock up food shopping (and everything that entails, like bringing inside and unpacking)for 3 growing boys, a 9 mile run--WHOO HOO!! (I am so sloow keeping HR in zone 2-but that will come), then picking up kids, homework, dinner and dishes, vacuum, shower and clinic. Pretty productive day--yeah me!

Back to the 9 Mile Run--
okay, my first time ever and considering I started training in Oct. I think it was pretty good, I was not sore then, still am not sore today and feel GREAT!!!

Thats it for now, be back soon

Kodiacbear

My Adventure Home...

2007-12-14T07:13:00.000-05:00

There was snowstorm here in the Northeast Yesterday. Our first big one. And where was I? Running. That's right. Running in it.

Now, how did that happen, dumb *ss? Well, let me tell you.

Now the weather was predicted, but it wasn't supposed to start until Noon. I would've been in my car and on my way home at noon. Not at 11am.

So the plan for the day started with a spin class and then a 8 mile run with Bob. I should have known the stars were not aligned for this. Plans changed. But, alas, I am flexible and can change with it. There were school closing and early cancellations. Schools were getting out at 11:30am, so Bob would do his own run with the dog. I went to spin class and was suppose to run on the treadmill at the gym. The. treadmill. UGH....I need to get outside...

And all was fine until the first snowflake--and the first few snowflakes were fine--BUT then the sky and heaven opened fire. It came down so hard I couldn't see. And I realized I was still three miles from my car...but I needed to do 8 miles....then it snowed harder and I came to my senses.

With my good friend Rick Brohman in my head saying "lets getter done", I picked up my pace and headed to home--or at least to my car--and then the drive home (20 minutes normally). Heart Rate training out the window for these last three miles.

Sorry coach.

She did come look for me, made the park ranger let her into the park and then stopped at every cross way for the bike trail--to no avail--it must have been my lightning speed. LOL. On the good note-if she did find me I would've cut my run shorter than it did already, so it did all work out well. I really do appreciate the effort and concern. Much heartfelt thanks!

...And I didn't fall until I hit the parking lot. Score one for me-YIPPEE!!

The drive home was slow--2 hours slow--and I ran out of food. I drank all my water, had a Recoverite and ate a gel about an hour into the drive at 10 miles per hour. I was home safe and starving...and all was well.

Kodiacbear

and the Reindeer played Mind Games in the snow...

2007-12-11T11:08:00.000-05:00

Its cold and icy and snowy here is the Northeast and its a funny thing about mind games-they pop up at the oddest hour, and weirdest time, unexpectedly...when all seems to be going REALLY well...even on a cold and blustery day...like this morning, again...or last night at work..

For some of you who don't know, I work as a Paramedic full time. We alternate calls when we work with a partner of the same certification and medical training. Last night I beat myself up...We had a call..a women had a baby in the bathroom and I took over the call. It wasn't mine to take. Only 1/2 way through did I realize it. Sorry Jamie. I do that. Especially when I am working with a new Paramedic, someone I haven't worked with and haven't clicked yet. It does get better, ask Heather. I will learn, just give me some time.

So what to do when your mind starts to beret you? What is there to learn? What does this voice want? When I hurt someone else, I get upset at myself and apologize and try to learn from it, but when the voice talks trash about me--well that's a different story...

So what to do about the voice that creeps in when your training, trying to sabotage your gains and self-esteem? Here's my scoop:

Acknowledgement. It's all it need. The little voice now and then that pops up out of nowhere. That tries to protect us from all this evil and torturous things we do to our bodies. It tries to protect us from ourselves, I think. It just need to be acknowledged because otherwise it gets louder and louder and louder until it becomes all you hear and drowns out anything else, and you may even start to believe it. I learned from this voice and more importantly I have learned how to take care of it and let it be.

Its a little voice now--It used to be GIGANTIC!! The voice that says--'you suck' and 'come on, what's wrong with you? who do you think you are? you think you can do this?---its replaced with a STRONGER VOICE that acknowledges it but does not play into it--it has it's say and then it leaves--DEFEATED. I find myself chuckling about it. I don't hang on to it anymore and I don't pay much mind to it. I have learned to acknowledge it and let it go because:

If I don't, then I may start to believe it...and its all downhill from there. There is a bigger voice now that overpowers it:

It says: Your Strong, and Your Stubborn, and Your Persistent and Resilient

It says: look how far you've come and how much you LOVE this

It says: lets not get ahead of ourselves and get hurt

It says: lets stay healthy and strong and powerful.

Its more about love and light and happiness and THE JOURNEY

and IT ROCKS!!

kodiacbear

Why do I run??

2007-12-09T18:46:00.001-05:00

Actually, the subject came up at work, in regards to training for Ironman Lake Placid. A coworker said "Ang, your gonna die you know", to which I replied.."yes, I know, there is a 100% guarantee that I will die BUT I ENJOY this, and Bob enjoys this and the boys enjoy being active..so why not, I ask? I would much rather do this than "eat, drink and be merry" and live my last 10 or more years in need of a liver transplant or not being able to breathe, or live with a myriad of other health related problems. I take care of sick people everyday I work and I see it first hand what can happen, what I don't want to happen..."

so this is what I was thinking of as I went out for a recent 6 mile run, because what else can you do when you don't have music...
Why Do I Run???

*I run because:

I love the way it makes me feel
I love the sound of my feet hitting the pavement...the sound of the silence or the loud clattering of the day around me...or the loud clattering of the treadmill going up hill..

*I run because:

I love the feeling of nothingness, when your running well and relaxed and there is no pain or funny sensations, just movement forward-when everything just works..and works well

*I run because:

I love the challenge
and being with Bob
and being size X

*I run:

from myself and my demons
FOR myself with my archangels
from my past and towards my future
because I believe in ME

*I run for:

my life and
my boys

and simply:

I RUN BECAUSE I CAN!!

Letting Go...

2007-12-07T13:59:00.000-05:00

My last few times in the pool have been a struggle. I could not find my rhythm and my breathing felt labored and I just muscled through it trying to figure out what was up...BUT TODAY...I just let it go and relaxed and quit worrying about time and distance and the other 101 things that kept popping into my head...I LET IT GO... and the struggle stopped..and the form came back and my mind chilled out and I got the groove--I didn't get the time--But I got the groove and it was good :)

Its a wonderful thing when your body and your mind and your spirit all mesh--its a wonderful thing!

Now off to bike...yipee!!

kodiacbear

Run from HELL..

2007-12-05T05:16:00.000-05:00

So Bob and I went for a run yesterday....in the FREEZING cold!!! What was I thinkng? I was miserable througth the entire 6.1 mile run. He even ran back to the car to get me more clothes which helped a little but the wind went right through me..and the whole time--yep you need windbloc, Ang..rang through my head and his mouth. My head and hands were warm-I had a hat and face covering and warm gloves and pants on but definately not enough polypro on for my top. Lessons learned, again.

This journey is a difficult one, from learning to clip and unclip, to what to wear-or not--but through it all I still enjoy it. There will be good days and miserable days but I still much rather being doing this than not. I love the way I feel--even when I am doing strength training and Bob asks innocently "hey, are you okay down there--you sound like your dying?" when I collapse on the floor after doing donkey pushups on a physioball and superman planks, when my arms are shaking so bad I look like I am in detox. Bring it on..I'll take it.

Kodiacbear

Hot Chocolate Run and other thoughts...

2007-12-02T07:53:00.001-05:00

So I did it--the 5K Hot Chocolate Run yesterday in under 30:00--I actually did it in 28:49--I would've liked to do it in under 28:00 but I'll take this for now. I think, actually going for me, going by myself (hubby was working and kids were at B'ball with MIL) to a fun run with 2500 people was, in itself, pretty surprising. I HATE crowds--something I need to get used to--since there will be 2500 people starting the swim in Lake Placid.

Slow and steady, I will get there--as long as I make all the cutoffs for Lake Placid--where the bike is my biggest concern. If I make it throught the bike leg--I could walk the 26.2 and still would be ok, if only I make it through the bike leg. BUT anything can happen at any point. I am mindfull of this and it stays with me.

Back to the Hot Chocolate Run--

Martha, my coach, did it too, and WON--First female overall and First in her age group--SHE ROCKS!! I am excited for her--You GO Girl--we'll be watching for you!

thats it for now...

kodiacbear :)

Me, running??? Who knew..

2007-11-28T16:00:00.000-05:00

So, on my way to my early morning run and swim before work, I was thinking--if only I could just run... instead...on this very cold 26 degree morning. Never did I think I would actually enjoy running, and I SO do. So much so that I registered for a half marathon with my in February, with Martha's blessing of course. I never thought I would look forward to running so much. Yippee!

Talking Turkey Trail Race Report

2007-11-27T18:06:00.001-05:00

I did my first 6 mile trail race on Saturday! It was awesome, such a beautiful day and Bob ran with me. I averaged a 10 minute mile which is quicker than I had been training and felt great throughout the whole thing. I pushed the last .5 mile and still felt great. No complaints the next day, either when we did a 2.5 hour hike with the kids. Slow and steady, that's my mantra. It will come. I need not be the first, just race my own race.

Today, right now, in this moment, I love this, I love all of this--I love the way I feel..every muscle in my body, I love the gorgeous days, the cool weather--and you know what..I even love the rain storms yesterday. I was thinking--I could actually be riding or running in this.. and why not??

kodiacbear :)

Wow, its been too long...

2007-11-24T09:27:00.000-05:00

Where to begin...

So much has happened since the last log in... my nieces' wedding and family reunion, running, riding and swimming...work and family...but we have all been there. It was great to see everyone and also get some beautiful running in while I was at it.

Thanksgiving has come and gone with reflection and many thanks. I worked a 24 hour shift but I also work with great people so at times it doesn't really feel like work after all. Lisa made GREAT pies and we ate and at ate and ate.

Training has been awesome!!! I am having a blast and at times I am truly amazed at how happy I am when I am working out...like when I did Yoga. To be present in the here and now, whether its biking, runnin or swimming or in the steam room. I get so excited that I think EVERYONE should do it. Its not about how fast you are or where you are in your 'fitness status' its about putting one foot in front of the other and doing it--no matter what and slowly realizing how far you've come.

Training for Lake Placid has come with much encouragement from some and yet some dis-couragement from others. Now, on a good day I can usually say to hell with the bad and be set with the positve, but its on those days when I am not so positive the negative remarks chink away at my armour. That's when Bob usually steps up to the plate--and its working.

Thanks for looking..
kodiacbear

Random Hiking Thoughts...

2007-10-25T15:28:00.000-04:00

Part of my foundation training has weeks built in to which I get to go hiking as part of cross-training. How utterely cool is that!!

This week I got to spend some long overdue time with one of my best friends (besides my husband)--Marie.

Its during times like these: a beautiful day, outside, with a really good friend , that life truly amazes me--how blessed and lucky am I to live, and to laugh and to love.

Like many that have come before me, I spend much of my alone time--like driving in the car, or biking or running--thinking. Marie would say that at times I think too much, to which end, I can very easily think myself out of things...maybe even this Ironman thing...if I keep it up.

The difference she says is that we are just different--she thinks, she likes, she gets, whereas I brood--I think and think and think and then maybe get (like the 3 months it took me to get my bike) or find an alternate route, a different path, but different isn't necessarily all bad...it can be good...its just what makes the world so interestingly unique..

stay tuned for more random thoughts...
kodiacbear

Two Weeks into Training...

2007-10-20T08:15:00.000-04:00

October 7th was the starting date for the official training plan and things went well for a few days...

I hurt my lower back in June and its been feeling better after my awesome chiropractor, stretching and yoga....until the deadlifts. We just do not get along at all. I was very careful and it still got me..so after a trip back to the chiropractor again(actually 2 trips on the tues and thurs) we are squared away again and on a roll.

I follow a 4 week plan where I build up for a few weeks and then have an easy week.

I needed to take a few days off already for my back so I am back on track (no pun intended!)-- and feel pretty good, although my CALVES are complaining a little and at night I hit the bed like a sack of bricks--although Bob, my husband would say that was pretty normal for me anyway...

Bob does some of the workouts with me, and when we went from the bike to the run I almost fell over--to get your feet to do more than shuffle was something else.... I think some refer to it as the "grip" and it goes away..after about a mile or so..

it will get easier, right?

Lets just keep telling ourselves this..

until next time
kodiacbear

The road to Ironman Lake Placid continues...

2007-10-19T08:55:00.000-04:00

First and foremost I needed a coach and a bike.

I found a coach, Martha Grinnell, local and really cool. She does more than just training for triathlons. We talked and agreed on a plan starting in October to take me through to July 2008, broken down to 8-10 week increments.

But I still needed a bike. I have a really nice mountain bike but I don't think that will cut it. I began my search in July, right around the time I entered. After weeks of research and riding, I found one. The last time I rode a road bike was a ten speed about 20 years ago. My how things have changed!

In the meantime, I began swimming and running--yes, BEGAN running--I hate running therefore I need to work on it. I started out with the kids 2.4 mile trail run weekly with my 7 year old in June and much to his pleasure, I had to walk 4 time with 3 shortcuts to catch up with him. I realized I really need to work on this. I started slow, running about 1-2 miles every couple of days, really easy and it got better, much better--I don't hate it anymore.

Swimming I did for fun about 2o minutes 2 x week at a local fitness club. I didn't hate it but definately needed to get better at it--so I read a book and tried to learn from it and then met with Martha and it got better.

I got my bike the beginning of Sept.--and it didn't come with pedals--most of my friends think that was pretty funny. The more expensive the bike the less it comes with--like learning how to clip out of those damn pedals before you stop and fall over in traffic, assuring everyone passing by calling out to see if your okay--that you are okay. Then explaining to your kids that Mommy falls off her bike too and can proudly show off your bruises. Then the practice comes--clip in/clip out/ clip in /clip out for the next 1 mile or so. I need to read a book again--and maybe meet with Martha again... and get out there and ride, again and again....

thanks for looking!
kodiacbear

IMLP 2008 The Journey Begins

2007-10-18T19:43:00.000-04:00

First of all, I would like to put a few things out there: I LOVE MY LIFE--and truthfully, I could not be any happier. I have been blessed with a beautiful family, including the dog and cats. I have a wonderful husband and kids and a profession that I would not trade for anything.

But, and here is the BUT--there are a couple of things that I have wanted to accomplish in my lifetime aside from all of the above. One was to finally finish my B.A.--and it doesn't matter that it won't make me any more money, I love learning, and in order to take any graduate courses, you need to have it. Secondly, I want to be really healthy and in great shape.

Sooo, nearing the end of school in early spring of this year, knowing that both my children will be in school full time in the fall of 2007, knowing I will have more 'free' time because I will have graduated in May, and undecided for which graduate program to apply to, the idea of a triathlon festered. There were local triathlons around and I worked out, but being in school full time and working full time and having one child at half day preschool and one in all day school and driving to speech therapy and occupational therapy, I didn't work out nearly enough to stay centered nor compete at any level, yet. And here is that word--YET

So I looked around and began planning. I came up with this crazy idea of doing the big one--the full boat 140.6 mile IRONMAN and talked with my hubbie and hired a coach. I registered for the 2008 Lake Placid Ironman. Now for those of you that know it, that itself was challenging enough considering it sold out in minutes--but thats another story..

So, on the following pages you will find my journey...
thanks for viewing,
kodiacbear